Thirteen hundred new families are forming every day. The majority of these are one of the forms of a step family. Interestingly, most of these families aren't aware of it. In fact, many people are surprised to learn that they are in a stepfamily.
They tell me they aren't in a stepfamily because neither of their parents remarried after the divorce. The fact is that more people cohabitate (live together without getting married) after a divorce than remarry. This is also known as recoupling. Even though a couple is not legally married, the non-biological parent is still acting as a step parent in the household. Therefore, the dynamics of step families apply in their situation.
Or people will tell me they are single; thus, they aren't in a step family. When asked if they have a child, and if the other biological parent of the child remarried, the answer is yes. True, they themselves are not step parents. Yet, they are in a step family because their child has a step parent. Because they are still a part of their child's life, and can influence him/her, they are a part of the step family.
The next scenario is my favorite because it elicits the most surprised and interesting response. Single parents who are dating also fit into a form of a step family. Once either parent starts dating, the dynamics of becoming a step family also start. How the parents explain the divorce or separation, how well they get along after the divorce / separation, how the parents introduce the new potential partner to the kids, and many other factors, all affect how well the family transitions into a step family after the parent moves in with another adult, with the children. This form of a step family is the least obvious form because there are not many arguments or problems during this phase. Ironically, it is the most important time to learn about what it means to be a step family, because what the parents do and how they do it could make a huge impact in the future of the relationship / family. When the parent finally decides to move in with his/her significant other and/or marry her/him, it is even more critical to learn what to expect after the move-in will take place. It could make the biggest difference between extensive turmoil among family members vs the average amount of stress that usually comes with change or moving to a new place.
Regardless of what form of step family you are in, there is potential for harmony or disharmony. There are numerous factors that can affect the stress in your family (or potential stress). If you are in a step family, I strongly suggest that you contact a Step Family Coach in order to get informed.
There are 5 different forms of a stepfamily are as follows:
Submitted by Judy The Stepfamily Coach.They tell me they aren't in a stepfamily because neither of their parents remarried after the divorce. The fact is that more people cohabitate (live together without getting married) after a divorce than remarry. This is also known as recoupling. Even though a couple is not legally married, the non-biological parent is still acting as a step parent in the household. Therefore, the dynamics of step families apply in their situation.
Or people will tell me they are single; thus, they aren't in a step family. When asked if they have a child, and if the other biological parent of the child remarried, the answer is yes. True, they themselves are not step parents. Yet, they are in a step family because their child has a step parent. Because they are still a part of their child's life, and can influence him/her, they are a part of the step family.
The next scenario is my favorite because it elicits the most surprised and interesting response. Single parents who are dating also fit into a form of a step family. Once either parent starts dating, the dynamics of becoming a step family also start. How the parents explain the divorce or separation, how well they get along after the divorce / separation, how the parents introduce the new potential partner to the kids, and many other factors, all affect how well the family transitions into a step family after the parent moves in with another adult, with the children. This form of a step family is the least obvious form because there are not many arguments or problems during this phase. Ironically, it is the most important time to learn about what it means to be a step family, because what the parents do and how they do it could make a huge impact in the future of the relationship / family. When the parent finally decides to move in with his/her significant other and/or marry her/him, it is even more critical to learn what to expect after the move-in will take place. It could make the biggest difference between extensive turmoil among family members vs the average amount of stress that usually comes with change or moving to a new place.
Regardless of what form of step family you are in, there is potential for harmony or disharmony. There are numerous factors that can affect the stress in your family (or potential stress). If you are in a step family, I strongly suggest that you contact a Step Family Coach in order to get informed.
There are 5 different forms of a stepfamily are as follows:
- Divorced with children. The child(ren) reside(s) with 1 parent and visits the other, or the child(ren) alternate residences of the 2 parents. Most of these parents are dating or looking for a new partner.
- Remarried or recoupled. Only 1 adult has (a) child(ren) from a previous relationship. Sometimes these new unions have additional children.
- Remarried or recoupled. Both adults have (a) child(ren) from a previous relationship. Sometimes these unions have additional children.
- Never-married single mothers and dating. Occasionally these moms are non-custodial parents. Their children visit her or she visits them. They often become recoupled.
- Never-married single fathers and dating. Occasionally these dads are non-custodial parents. They visit their children or have the children visit them. They often become recoupled.
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